It has been one whole year since my first film industry set in Hollywood, California. A dream from the midwest. We drove our lives across the country gripping white knuckles, dogs in the back and bags on the roof. I knew nothing about how to enter the film industry besides what I learned from a few books. A long shot for a kid from Akron.
Looking for a way in, I worked for free until I was hired. And hired again, and hired again. I didn’t believe I’d ever be where I am today. I’m not only talking about being a full time screenwriter in the city of Angels. I’m talking about being happy. Straight up, non drugged, non social media filtered, honest happiness… Like every single person on earth, I still have my moments in the valley.
I’ve learned it’s not the job or the location. It’s feeling worth in this world.
The Devil says, “You’re DIFFERENT, be ASHAMED.”
But God says, “You ARE different, and it’s BEAUTIFUL.”
My wife and I have experienced our own little novel of life this year. It’s not supposed to happen this way. But all things are possible through Jesus. I know, I went there… but the thing is, how can I not believe? My life is BETTER NOW.
I didn’t believe at 19 years old, when I wrote a suicide letter with a shotgun resting on the table. I didn’t believe while bunked up in jail, shaming myself for all the mistakes I made. I didn’t believe Sunday nights, crying depressed because a soul sucking job came Monday morning. I didn’t believe even on the way to my childhood church on a random evening, desperate for answers. I didn’t believe when the church doors were locked, even when a man inside unlocked and invited me inside. I had already pulled in my driveway earlier after work and for some reason, I reversed and went to a place I never planned. In a quiet and still sanctuary, I found myself hoping to believe. A seedling of faith.
FAST FORWARD YEARS LATER:
I recently filled out an online security question in case I forget my password. One of the options they expect no one else to know is – “What is your dream job?” I smiled because I’m currently working my dream job. I now know a rare gift. If it ends tomorrow, I know God gave it and I’m forever grateful. He planted the desire in our hearts and we shot for the moon. A mustard seed of faith moved a mountain in my soul.
It’s not the location. IT IS NOT THE JOB. It’s that I put every ounce of trust in God and waited with the most fragile vulnerability I’ve ever felt. With fear and evil closing in, He called my name and I experienced peace. My Hero.
If you find yourself in a difficult season of life, clench down and be still. You are not alone. Search for God’s Presence wherever you are in life and He will meet you. He can carry you through your exact struggles. It’s difficult to be weak so God can be strong for us. The gateway leading to life is narrow and difficult. Only a few find it.
You are so unique in this life. You are the few.
Written by Sean Reed
Los Angeles, California